Picture Me Trollin’ (Fish On, Yo)

7 04 2015

Trying to convey to others what it is to be a commercial fisherman, or even more difficult, to be a commercial fishing family – is near impossible.

Unless they are in the business themselves.

It requires patience and a certain amount of forgiveness.

Only other commercial fishermen really want to talk about fishing. A lot.

Comparisons can be made. It is somewhat like being a military family (without the fear that mom or dad is going to war). Yet, distinctly different.

Fishermen like to pride themselves on being independent.

For those raised within the fishing fleet, it is either a source of great conflict or great surrender.

Conflict. Being on land is a conflict. For those born to the sea.

(Vice versa for members of a fishing family that are extroverts and have trouble chillin’ at sea).

My best buddies in the fleet worried about me, when they knew I’d be spending time on land raising kids. The image needed to be gentled up. Considerably.

Everyone reinvents themselves throughout life.

Becoming a responsible parent, putting my commercial fishing identity on the back burner for years, was necessary.

I found it much harder, being at home raising the kids while my husband was at sea, than living and fishing on a boat for months at a time.

At a kid’s birthday party, just the other day, a mother asked me if I’d be bothered if she and some of the other parents cussed, not in front of the kids. Like mild-mannered Clark Kent, I just smiled, and reassured her I’d be okay with it.

I said I was a commercial fisherman (as if that would explain everything). Told her we try not to cuss in front of the kids at home or on the boat. Told her I had to shape up my language, a lot, when I became a mother.

As a commercial fisherman, cussing just seems to be a part of the way of life. Depending on the company. (Note: My mother fished for years and did not appreciate cussing. Much). It takes a conscientious effort to repress the impulse to talk in a blue streak. Especially when the conversation turns to fishing. Good days on the ocean. A great fishing trip!

It is the independence that draws people to commercial fishing. The ocean is the last wild frontier here on earth.

The very strain that allows me to be a fishing partner with my husband, without coding partners or crewmen, is not very mild-mannered. The same holds true for my husband. Imagine two fiercely independent souls being married!

We both have to work hard, very hard, at being flexible.

To not just give in to the ease of a commercial fisherman identity. Or lifestyle.

I like knowing I can do other things too. I don’t  like the notion of being dependent on any one identity, lifestyle, or occupational choice. I like the freedom of being able to reinvent myself.

Truth be told, though, I was born to fish. Raised within the fleet, I learned to compete with the fleet.

Fishing is in the blood.

So, when the youngest child is out of earshot, at home, this is the tune that gets cranked up. Don’t listen to it if cussing bothers you.

https://soundcloud.com/aknatural/picture-me-trollin

It’s where I plan to be this summer. On the back end of a boat (if not exactly a wood double-ender).

Trolling!

And yeah, if you listened to the words of the song, I’ve caught one. A “65 pounder, shiny as chrome”. We trollers live to catch those big Kings.

Commercial fishermen.

We live to fish. And fish to live.

 

 

 

 

 





The Importance of Boatyards, Friends, and Pi Day (3/14/15)

14 03 2015

Pi Day of the century happens at 3:14:15 9:26:53, today, exactly as I am writing this sentence. It will happen again, this evening in the PM, and then not happen for another 100 years.

Numbers: Rational. Irrational.

Kind of like the states of mind.

Getting a fishing boat up to Port Angeles, Washington from Astoria, Oregon in January, as we did this year, produced mixed reactions for my husband and I. Irrational thinking peppered in with the, mostly, rational thought that prevailed. In retrospect, it needed to be done. We had pole work to do, a repaired generator and a new muffler to install. It is eminently easier to do boat work in a yard where the boat and owners are well-known by the trades people who work on boats. It is also nice to go home at night.

The Port Angeles boatyard has been a home to me since my parents moved our family from Westport, WA, during the Spring that I was in 1st Grade in 1971, to Port Angeles, WA. Along with the move, came our wood fishing boat, the Kipling. She would be moored in the Port Angeles boat basin until the mid-1970’s.

As I became older, I loved to ride my bike downhill toward the working waterfront from our house on 10th Street on Pine Hill to the marina, after school, so I could help out on the boat. The Kipling eventually gave way to the Kay Angela. The boat named after my mother, the Kay Angela, was a 46′ fiberglass Little Hoquiam that my parents had built in 1975. One of my jobs was to sand and varnish the ironwood caps and guards.

These days I am a mother. My kids have fished and it appears they may both continue to fish (off and on) aboard our family fishing boat, the Saint Jude. Both my kids (a daughter and a son) have helped paint the red boot stripe and blue bottom, helped with fishing gear, have sea time.

It has not been easy. Many families got out of salmon trolling. Back when my parents owned a fishing boat, Port Angeles had a fleet of over 100 trollers. That has dwindled down to little more than a handful.

Still, hanging on has been worth it! Oh my, the stories. Those glorious sea stories. That alone, the adventures of roaming the West Coast from California to Southeast Alaska, is a reflection of a life well-lived.

Plus, catching King Salmon for a living has got to be one of the greatest gifts bestowed to a born fisherman!

The Saint Jude is nearly ready for an April 1st King Salmon opener that we expect to participate in this Spring. Her skipper, my husband, will be ready. Our fishing family will be ready.

 

The Saint Jude hauled out in the Port of Port Angeles Boatyard on March, 12, 2015. My husband is in Grundens rain gear working on painting the bottom while our son, a third generation commercial fisherman, heads up the ladder.

The Saint Jude hauled out in the Port of Port Angeles Boatyard on March, 12, 2015. My husband is in Grundens rain gear working on painting the bottom while our son, a third generation commercial fisherman, heads up the ladder.

The Port of Port Angeles Boatyard and the hard-working craftsmen that work there have been good to our family over the years. We are grateful.

We are also advocates of the Port of Astoria keeping their boatyard open for boat owners of all types. A good working boatyard, anywhere on the coast, is a life-line in our business.

A petition to keep the Astoria Boatyard open can be found at Change.org Keep the Port of Astoria Boatyard Open. Here is a link where you can sign the petition and share it with others:

https://www.change.org/p/port-of-astoria-oregon-state-legislature-keep-the-port-of-astoria-boatyard-open

On this Pi Day (the one that will not happen again for another century), my husband and son are at the Port Angeles Farmer’s Market today selling some of our fish.

Direct marketing is how our fishing family has stayed afloat during some tough times throughout our commercial fishing career.

Relating with the public has become an even greater gift than catching King Salmon, and other species of fish, for a living. Connecting with people and forming warm, caring relationships within our local and broader fishing communities is reward beyond any other. Gold dust.

To celebrate Pi Day, my husband and son are planning to bring a pie home from the Port Angeles Farmer’s Market.

I expect that when they stop by the Saint Jude today, where she is still hauled out in the Port Angeles Boatyard, that they will also have a gift (perhaps pie or perhaps a piece of Alderwood smoked King Salmon) for the master welder scheduled to install our new muffler for the generator today.

The numbers a master welder works with are precise. Commercial fishing, often, is not. Along with a good boatyard, a fishing boat and her family depends on both the rational and irrational. Unmeasurable gut feelings and measurable components that keep the boat and fishing business afloat. A good fisherman is instinctive.

Finding the balance is the trick. Best done with friends and a good piece of pie!

Pi = 3.14

Pi is an irrational number.

Here is a link that further explains Pi

Did you know that the hostess of The Pi Episode is Danica McKellan that played Winnie in “The Wonder Years” television series? Did you know she has a degree in mathematics from UCLA and has written several books on mathematics?

Did you know that both men and women can be good at math and, if they choose to do so, they can also both be good at commercial fishing?

Can you describe what is so cool about 3:14:15 9:26:53?





Turning 50! (Celebrate with me)

23 08 2014

50! Milestone birthday for sure.

For years, I was fishing on a boat somewhere on my birthday. I was lucky when friends planned a celebration for me.

This year, I am home. With my now adult daughter. Getting ready to switch things up a bit. It is time to get the party started!

50, baby, and I ain’t sitting on my hands this year doing nothing!

Our family fishing boat, the Saint Jude, is heading in and it looks like my husband and son will be home tomorrow too. I have not seen either of them for weeks. That is the nature of us being a commercial fishing family. They will not only be able to celebrate my 50th birthday with me tomorrow, on August 23, but my daughter’s 18th birthday too!

As a fishing family, our important events tend to get celebrated in a cluster fashion. When everyone is together.

Today, truth be told, I started off wanting to get the house cleaned up more for my husband’s arrival. Boring. Conventional. I chose to write instead. I told my husband this on the phone today and he gave his blessing. He said he’d pitch in around home when he got here. I like that. It seems to mean our marriage is in a good place. That we have both learned that there is much more to life than a perfectly clean house.

I also want to spoil myself, one last day, before my son is home to get ready for the school year. When my husband goes back fishing, when the weather settles down, I will be seasonally single-parenting once again. Granted, it is much easier now than when the kids were younger and a big outing was a trip to the grocery store to buy diapers.

These days, I have a lot more time to myself. It is a transitional time, ripe with possibility.

I want to live the rest of my life with little or no regret.

Turning 50 gives me a chance to reflect on how to go about this.

Things I regret NOT doing in my first fifty years of life:

1. Not working as a Registered Nurse for at least awhile. Why? 2 years of pre-nursing college classes and 2 years of Nursing School is a lot of time commitment to have never worked in a field. The money was good, for that stage of my life when I was in my early 20’s, and it would have built confidence. I also learned it is not good to let myself get talked out of doing something that is in my best interests. It is a trap for letting resentment build. About 11 years ago, I took a refresher course to try to renew my license. The field had changed so much, by then, that I could not do this. So I will remain mandatorily retired from professional nursing and lose the resentment.

2. Not paying automobile insurance for 6 months while commercial fishing when first married. Why? Insurance companies frown on this even when a car is not being used and it is tricky getting reinsured.

3. Not hiring a housekeeper more when the kids were younger? Why? I would have had more quality time to do more with the children when they were younger and have been way less tired. The quality of our life would have been better and we would have had more people over to the house. I could also have used other skills I possess for doing things that would have had a more positive impact in my life and that of others. Like writing.

Things I don’t regret:

1. Supporting my husband with his passion of commercial salmon trolling. Why? It makes him happy.

2. Having a family home built before the kids were born. 27 years ago. Why? At one time the 2,500 sq. feet and over an acre of property seemed too small. We have used every inch of space in the house. We have had lovely celebrations. Even through tough times during the recession, while dealing with some expensive medical issues when salmon seasons were drastically cut back for 5 years in WA, CA, and ORE, the house provided sanctuary. I was 22-years-old when we had our home built. It is fun to share.

3. Owning the Saint Jude with my husband. Why? Taking a baby fishing on a commercial fishing boat for 5-6 months is challenging. The Saint Jude has seen us through some tough weather and tough times. She is all aluminum and easy to maintain. She is also lot of fun and I can tell our son enjoys her a lot.

4. Having pets. Why? They keep me humble. We will also remember them long after the objects we own, including our boat and home, become no longer useful to us.

5. Having kids. Why? They keep me humble. They also, just by their very existence, force me to grow. To live better, learn more, be more. I want for them to be happy.

6. Raising kids in Sequim, WA. Why? We are rural and there is an abundant amount of natural beauty here. A lot of people at the stores and other places know my kids, remember them when they were in preschool, ask me how Al is doing when he is away fishing. Folks trade us for fish sometimes. This is how we get our Christmas tree, some professional services, sometimes other food for our table. There is a lot of heart in our small community and it is close to my hometown, Port Angeles.

7. Getting help when needed. Why?  I have been fortunate to find out fairly early in  life that is important to not get run down too far. Not good for self to do that, not good for family. Self-care is important.

8. Listening to others. Why? My current world is fairly small. I still stay at home a lot with the kids especially when Al is away fishing. This is changing once again as they are growing older and getting more independent. I want to broaden my world view through more travel, reading, education, physical activity, socializing.

We are all different. Some things we all have in common. I like getting to know people and trying to find the common ground.

To get started, on my Facebook page today, I asked folks to share the title of a favorite book they have read, and/or favorite place they have traveled, and/or their favorite swimming pool or ocean they have swam in, and/or the most radically silly thing they have ever done.

Here is what I have to share with you so far:

My favorite book: Trinity by Leon Uris

Best place I’ve visited: Alaska and traveling by boat up and down the Inside Passage

Best Swim: Lituya Bay, Alaska

Most radically silly thing I’ve done: Swam in Lituya Bay, Alaska – more than once on different days – it’s really cold!

What is your favorite book? Most awesome place you have ever visited? The favorite pool or ocean in which you have ever swam?

What is the most radically silly thing you have ever done?

Are you living the life you want to be living? I’d love to hear!

 





O, God, Thy Sea Is So Great And My Boat Is So Small (Breton Fisherman’s Prayer)

6 04 2014

Al left yesterday morning.  The Saint Jude had been in the yard for much more time than we anticipated and we had already missed the April 1st King Salmon opener in Oregon before she was re-launched.

At the same time, the boat has never been more fine-tuned. Has never felt more responsive to steerage, and has never been as strong and safe. As she is now.

She will catch fish. I can feel it in my bones.

The kids spent a bit of time, yesterday morning, on board the Saint Jude in Port Angeles getting some last minute time in with Al. Our crewman came down. His father had brought him to the boat. Devin is going on his 3rd year with us. He spent time working on the boat this Spring. He is getting a feel for how important she is to our ongoing safety at sea and how her well-being is essential to our being productive.

Our crewman had attended a safety course with Al, during the off-season, and has developed a healthy respect for how vulnerable fishermen are at sea if something goes wrong.

 

Al in survival suit during safety drill.

Al in survival suit during safety drill.

 

Devin’s dad had also brought their 7-month-old black lab down to the boat. Lady Bird is her name. I took down the old duck call that my grandfather had given me years ago. It hangs from a hook behind the pilot seat. It was the one he had personally used and a gift to celebrate when Al and I got our first black lab, Tug. The duck call stays with the boat. I’ve given up bird hunting. I do like thinking  that my grandfather, watching from above somewhere, is keeping an eye on our boat. That young pup, Lady Bird, cocked her ears when she  heard  the quacking produced by that old duck call. Reminding me of Tug.

Tug fished with us many years. His formal name was Ocean Tug at Dungeness.  He was a Bigstone Kennels pup from Minnesota. We had him flown to Alaska, where we were fishing our boat, after having him  field trial trained in Missouri. We couldn’t properly train him ourselves because we were too busy fishing. The fleet used to like to watch him retrieve bumpers. In Sitka during the closures. He’d retrieve triples right in Thomsen Harbor. We miss him.

Our boat dog, now, is a chocolate lab that the kids named Cocoa. She’s not much into swimming. Especially in cold water. She makes a nice boat dog, though. She kept our son great company on board last season.

Boat, dog, crew. Yep. the boat was ready to take off for fishing.

I’d called my mother earlier that morning. Asked she and her housemate, Billie Moore, to be on hand. They came. Both women have sent men to sea for many  years.  They have been to sea themselves. Commercial fishing. They are pretty much retired from that business.

My mother showed tears. Entrusting God to watch after our boat, her skipper and crew.

It is all we can ask ourselves. At some point, we have done all that is humanly possible to get the boat ready. Then we turn our well-being over to a higher power. It is absolutely, in my mind, the only way for a family to keep confident in commercial fishing. Arguably the world’s most dangerous occupation.

I have a quirk of talking, out loud, to the boat before she leaves the harbor. Telling her she is a good girl. A ritual. To ease the excitement and jitters. Like a ballplayer adjusting his cap before an opening pitch in the first game of the season in baseball. When Al put the boat into gear, we on the dock all noticed that the electric cord was still plugged into the power box. Luckily, he heard our shouts and stopped the boat just as the cord pulled tight. I unplugged the thick, yellow power cord and tossed it on board to Devin.

We all waved. Again. The boat was back in gear. Then out of gear just as she cleared the slip. Al came out of the wheelhouse and said we’d probably need the van keys which were still in his pocket. He backed the boat down toward another dock, and soon my son brought over a zip lock plastic  baggy with the set of van keys inside. I was thinking that Al was enjoying backing the boat around with the newly modified rudder. We’ll have a chance to compare notes on that later, by phone. Probably days from now. The  boat headed for the exit of the Port Angeles Marina, temporarily out of sight.

My mother invited the kids and I to breakfast and I had to decline because my daughter is scheduled to go shopping for  Senior Ball dresses with her friends in an hour. My mom says she is glad I will be with another mother, a friend, for the day.

It is true. The company will be good for me. As a fishing wife, I tend to go into a daze right when Al takes off for fishing. Transitions can be hard.

The kids and I drive out to Ediz Hook. We watch the Saint Jude come out of the inside harbor and round the spit toward the ocean. I show the kids, again, how to do a boat wave. Not the wrist wave like princesses on parade floats do. No. Broad sweeping, entire arm waves from side to side  in an arc over the head. The wave  that fishermen and other mariners use. So that other mariners on boats, at a distance, can see.  This is how I learned to do it, from my father, as a boat kid. He would make sure that  my sister and I went out on the back deck and waved like that to all the elders in the fleet. I remember the mirrored return wave, from folks like Keane and Helen Gau, clear back when they fished the Bluejacket off of the Washington Coast. A long time ago, it seems.

I can hear the John Deere, the engine on board the Saint Jude,  from where I stand on the rocks. As Billie Moore said, she sounds good.

Billie, for years, was married to a highliner. The fleet just usually called him by his last name.   Some would say that my mom was married to a highliner too. These women, while they were married to fishermen, both contributed  to a historical video about the West Coast Salmon Troller, called “Coming Home Was Easy”. It can be bought on DVD and through this link:

http://seagrant.oregonstate.edu/sgpubs/coming-home-was-easy-video

 

 

I just watched that documentary video for the first time several evenings ago. With Al. We’d never seen it before. The Little Hoquiam,  we’d got married on is in it. Fishing. With both Al and I on board. (The boat is named the Alharbara and we later change her name to the Karla R. eventually we sold her and bough the Saint Jude).  The footage was shot from my parents boat, the Kay Angela. I had declined to be filmed for this video but  one of our wedding photos is in it. The one where Al and I and our entire wedding party are on the bow of the boat.  Me as a little girl on the F/V Kipling and the F/V Acadia. Relatives including my sister, a photo of her sleeping on the boat, and more of me. It brought up a lot of memories and their are other families and fishermen in that documentary that I have known well over the years.

 

Here is a segment of that documentary which heavily features my parents and shows our boat:

 

 

It is my dad’s voice at the beginning of that segment (“Dave Peters, Port Angeles, Washington” flashes up on the video) that speaks the words, “Coming Home was Easy”. Somehow accepting this gracefully means that I have reached a point of forgiveness. For being raised by this man did not come without pain. If I could have re-written the script, I’d have told him to not throw away the cap off of the bottle of whiskey. I would have told him, that as a kid, that a few hundred or few thousand more fish really would not have mattered all that much. I would have told him that. And maybe I did. And maybe a few other things too. And maybe that is why I don’t see him much these days. I always wish him all the best. Let him know I am living my life well.

Truth is, if we had continued to fish like my parents did, we would have probably sold our boat like  they eventually  did along with  many of their former coding partners. After all, they were for the most part, a generation older than us.  Al and I have had to make so many adaptations over the years  to stay in it. Quitting drinking. Learning to freeze salmon on board. Taking advantage of every fishable day unless a kid is on board. Marketing. These changes have been intense and are not  for everyone. Much of the fishing culture, as shown in that documentary, is also changing. When our daughter was a baby on board the Saint Jude, 17 years ago, there were hardly any other boat kids in the fleet around us. For her social well-being we thought it was more appropriate to raise her largely at home so she could be with peers her own age.

Now, fishing wives are banding together in fishing towns throughout the country, even across the different fisheries, to adamantly advocate  for the commercial fishing industry. This has traditionally been the case but now the  internet is used widely to raise consumer awareness about fishing and the seafood that is produced. For fishing families, mutual respect amongst family members is highlighted.

My father taught me to fish. I bring that to the table when I am on board with Al. My mother, Kay Peters,  took care of my sister and I for years, when my dad was away at sea. She understands that being a “seasonal single parent” is not easy. Eventually, we all fished on  the Kay Angela together. For awhile. My sister, my parents, and I. Until it was time for me to be on my own more.

I am healing the hurts, of any mistakes my folks made as parents. I now realize that perfect parenting is a myth. Though we may not always be close, I hope that at some level my life as a commercial fisherman and the way in which I am raising my children and the way I work with my husband, brings both of them honor. They are no longer together, but they will both always be my parents. It is from them, that I  originally learned what it is to be a highliner.

Anymore, I am not sure what highliner really means. It used to be a term that was reserved for fishing boat captains that came in with a boat load of fish. Consistently. The water line of the boat  was raised because the hold was full. A highliner, traditionally, garnered the most respect from everyone else in the fishing fleet.

Fishing, at least King Salmon trolling,  has changed so much over the years. These days, trollers can only fish 4 days when using ice in the hold.

Now, I think highliner means a fishing boat captain that can keep producing year in and year out. One who can balance this with the affection and care that he shows his family whether they are at home or on the boat with him. Someone who does not compromise his/her integrity or worry too much about what others think just to catch a few more fish.

When my husband left the dock yesterday morning. The adults standing there watching him, were thinking out loud, “There goes a highliner”.

May God watch out for the Saint Jude and all other fishing boats this season. May the fishing boat captains and crews be blessed with good health.  May He watch over the fishermen’s children and their  mothers on land.  May He bless our catch and all those that derive nourishment from the bounties of the sea. May He provide ongoing comfort to those that have lost loved ones at sea. Amen.

Let the 2014 Fishing Season begin.

O, God, Thy Sea Is So Great And My Boat is So Small – Breton Fisherman’s Prayer

The Breton Fisherman’s Prayer was inscribed on a very small plastic ship’s wheel that my parents kept on board the Kay Angela. It had been given to my dad by a church pastor. When I was on board the Kay Angela, as a child, those words gave me great comfort when the sky would darken and the seas would turn rough. They gave me equal comfort, yesterday morning, as my children and I waved while watching the Saint Jude head for the ocean down the Strait of Juan de Fuca. I knew her skipper was waving back at us.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





The Saint Jude and the Port Angeles Boat Yard: A True Tale

19 03 2014

Notes from the fish wife:

Capt. Al just left for the boat yard. Pissed. He’d been in touch with our welder, Brian. I heard bits and pieces of their phone conversation – “not happy”, “play in the shoulder arm”, “doesn’t seem to be their best work”, and “apprentice”.

My husband looked over at me as he got off the phone, before he left, before putting on his sun-faded Hoonah Cold Storage ball cap and completely metamorphosing into Capt. Al. He took one last wistful glance out our kid-and-dog-smudged slider window door toward his unfinished deck rebuilding project. Home stuff. Never a priority when the boat is hauled out.

We had a short chat. He said, “Brian’s not happy with it”.

Now, I must admit right here that a lot of the boat jargon is not something I have ever book studied or had a formal education in. I have not served as an apprentice in any of the boat building trades. Hell, I have not even fished a boat on my own. Here’s the thing: I barely remember a time in my life, when I was a baby and a toddler, when trolling salmon was not a part of who I am. My essence. But back when I was that little, I was already spending time out at Peters Neah Bay Resort. Where sport-fishermen liked to play. That’s my maiden name. Peters. My grandparents owned that resort.

King Salmon fishing is my heritage. I love it well.

What I bring to the table in our current fishing family business is a lifetime of experience. A troller entered my life when I was about 4-years-old in Westport. Her name was the Acadia. That is when my commercial fishing education began.

I can tell you at around 10-years-old, my son’s current age, that my favorite place to be on the planet earth was the Little Hoquiam Boat Shop. I was especially fond of the steam box which bent the curved pieces that would become part of the wood cap and guards on the stern of the Kay Angela. Our family fishing boat that would become my summer home for a number of years.

I have a newspaper clipping of my uncle’s boat when it was built. Not my Uncle Keith, who had the Jaeger built – another Little Hoquiam. No. This article is about my Uncle Wally who had a Hansen built. He had a short bunk installed for my cousin Raechel who was a baby at the time. She and her husband now seine their own boat in Chignik, AK. With their two beautiful young daughters sometimes on board.

The Saint Jude is my boat. Well, I actually share her with Capt. Al and, really, she belongs to our company – Dungeness Seaworks (to learn more about our fishing family business by clicking here – https://www.facebook.com/DungenessSeaworks?hc_location=timeline). She is aluminum. We are bonded. In the troll fleet, she is a one-of-a-kind. Reportedly, it cost over $300,000 to build her. In 1989. We bought her for around a quarter of a million dollars. She was paid for the first year we owned her after our first season with her.

I call it the season from hell.

To make that boat payment, in the Fall, after struggling learning how to freeze salmon all summer and catching a dismal number of cohos to compensate for our inexperience, we long-lined halibut.

In SE Alaska. Just Al and I.

By October, we were still short the money for that boat payment. So we caught a weather window and headed for Spencer Spit off-shore near Cross Sound.

I told this story to Brian in the Port Angeles boat yard yesterday. He was complimenting us, again, on how well-built the Saint Jude is. Irreplaceable, we agreed.

I told him, for the first time, about the gale force winds that came up while we had about 3,000 pounds of uncleaned halibut on the deck. How we dogged-down the door and the wheel-house hatches.

The green water on the front windows was nothing. Not that day. It was the green water on the side windows that scared us. I had never seen it there before. Never. Haven’t since.

Boats have gone down right there where we were that day. Vince Cameron’s last boat – renamed the Becca Dawn – that’s where she rests. Her crew on board, did not all make it.
I told Brian I thought of that as the Saint Jude struggled to make 2 Knots. Headed for Sitka.

Al hit the bunk. Sometimes even seasoned captains get scared. He let me drive. He thought we were going to die. On the Hoquiam we had owned before, I am convinced we would have rolled and sunk. The halibut would have blocked the scuppers and water would not have been able to have cleared off the deck.

I told Brian yesterday, “Every single fucking time a quartering wave hit, that boat righted herself”. He looked at Al who said nothing. Because it was so. I don’t swear a lot. It is how I feel about that boat.

Irreplaceable. Al and I left the yard knowing the Saint Jude was in good hands. Brian has worked on her since the first season we owned her. Back in 1995. He is old-school. It took awhile to earn his respect. I know we have it. Now. More recently, Brian’s son, Jeremy, has worked on our boat whenever we have needed it. He is a better welder, now, than Brian. Maybe the best in the business. Ask Tom Pope, the surveyor, he’ll tell you that.

So when Brian is on the phone and he’s not happy, I’m not happy. My life has depended on that boat. She got us out of a bad spot. More than once. She got us across Queen Charlotte Sound, during a storm warning. That is another story in and of itself. How a Canadian native in Namu, B.C., came on board and told us how and where to tie to a tree if a storm wind were to come up in Queen Charlotte Sound. I was pregnant with our first-born at the time but didn’t know it. It was late November and our daughter would be born that upcoming August. Guess where she was conceived. Somewhere between a gale and a storm. Al and I never slept on shore during that first long fishing season that we owned the Saint Jude.

When it comes to the lives of my kids, we take many less chances. My son was 100 miles off-shore albacore fishing last summer. The boat did her job. Caught fish and took care of her captain and crew.

It’s my turn. I do not need “play” in some boat part that is not made well. It is unacceptable.

So Capt. Al told Brian to take the rudder assembly back apart. He called the shop and he told them in exacting terms that he expected them to get the job done to meet our specifications. He was mumbling, “micrometer” as he went out the door.

This decision may mean more days in the yard. It may or may not mean more money spent on the boat this Spring. What I know to be truth, is that when the boat work is done right, it may mean it saves our lives.

Before we took the Saint Jude out on our first season with her, we had Brian reinforce her stiff arms. There had been “play” in the way they had been assembled before. That one day in October on Spencer Spit, in gale force winds, Brian’s recommendation and work undoubtedly saved our lives. The rigging held. The next season I fished aboard her in California. While pregnant. The season after that, we long-lined in the Gulf of Alaska, once again, that time with our 8-month-old daughter on board. The boat was happy and so were we.

When Brian is working on our boat and is not happy with something, the Saint Jude is not happy. I listen to that. Hard.

The Saint Jude has caught a lot of fish for us over the years. Capt. Al will probably never say numbers. He is old-school. However, as a fish wife I can say he had the best King Salmon season of his career last year.

We will do our best to keep the Saint Jude strong, to make her systems right, so that she is sea-worthy. So she can do her best, to get everyone home safe.

In the end, that is all that really matters.